I'm banned!!

29th November 2006,

4.30pm, yeah yeah, time's out- can go back home. As usual, doing my stuff before log off. Today is normal day- routine work, quite stable. My computer just been configured. My IT has just reformat the computer and reinstall the whole system. And they add in another VNC Server, which can able to go into my computer for viewing and editing. The worse is, they had just banned all the chat user, and placed firewall on the system, not allowing to download yahoo messager or MSN. That is terrible! I've lost all my Chat history!! Sob sob... It's all because of the auditor. We have internal auditor auditing Accounts, IT and Pharmacy Department. They even suggest to me to install CCTV INSIDE the Pharmacy department, the place we preparing drugs.

Has been quite some time did not update the blog. Noticed that I have some many postings, about hundreds over, and I've just change to newer version blog- Beta version. Has not able to post much recently, server quite slow and nothing much to share, or maybe over concious on what to share... I used www.iloveim.com now, instead of log in individual Yahoo or MSN. Can't grumble much, at least I can still chat thru' the Web Msger. The problem with this chat is I can't able to save y chat history, and can't leave offline msg. And, can't about to chage my nick and put up posting. Other than that, it's the same.

I had a bad neck pain today. Fell down yesterday, so foolish! Usually will charge my HP when I arrived home. Placed it in the other small room, then will stay in the living room. Mum mopped the floor and it's wet. I run to the small room when I hear phone ringing, and slipped down, flat, knocked my head. It's so painful, can feel the swollen on my head. Today it got worse, got stiff neck, and went to see Dr. Gerald for medication. Whole body aching now. Lesson to learn:- 1.) Be cool, don't run! Let the phone ringing...2.) Obey mum: She said be careful..and I still run :PP

Almost 4 years in GMC, it's time to think of some other change. Thinking of going into MBA part-time. Ganesh and Mei Jen, and Daniel and lot's more people taking MBA as part time. Wondering whether I can cope with the schedule and finance is another concern. According to Daniel, for UniSa (University South Australia) need at least RM30K to complete the Master Program. Thinking...contemplating, and waiting. Man can plan, but ultimately it's God who direct our path. Am in comfort zone for a while, probably it's time to get my hands into something, to learn new things, acquire new skills, or keep myself efficient. Getting into comfort zone for long time, have to do something about it. I went to Ipoh last weekend, spend 2 days there- getting to know Gavin more. I remember he said, we got to be ready to relocate, to be ready for change. Changes is good- it enriched us with different knowledge, widen our horizon and thoughts deepen. It's time, I should do something about it, and not let it wait and linger and move no where...

It is all in You!

14th November 2006,

5.00pm Tuesday. Waiting for Dzung and Ming Ha. They came to follow up with Dr. Gan and will follow me back. They will be going back Vietnam tomorrow, very fast. Work has been busy, not physically busy- more of the emotional and mental stress- with a lot complaints going around. I was not well, keep on nose bleed. It shouln't be the weather, probably the mental stress. Mum was sick for the past 2 weeks- cough and vomiting. She hardly eat, afraid that she will get vomitted each time food goes in her GI. I feel very burdened especially yesteday- with stress in work, then mum's condition add on to my worries. Even with this little little things I get stresses so easily. If anything major ever happen to mum, I really don't know what to do, what to expect. Well, I shouldn't have been so negative.

Sharing some of my concerns with Benji. He tries his best to encourage me, sharing all his experiences and the Words and promises of God. I can see so much gift in him, a good preacher and teacher...potential Pastor material. The sharing is very much powerful- and it is all true- very biblical. After so much of sharings, suddenly Benji paused, and said " I know that you know all these. It's all in You!" I guess he must have given up counselling me, or maybe I don't actually need counselling. yeah, I just need someone to be there and listen, and say "It's ok Shirley, it's okay". Or a person to just sit by my side, and give a pat on my shoulder, saying "Don't worry, I'm here for you". But still, I appreciate Benji so much. I'm always encouraged by his testimony, his openess in sharings of his past and always putting God first in everything. Always pointing me to Christ- the right way. Even it's not easy way, but always the right way, always the truth. He only speak what is true- the truth. Thank you, Benji!

I REFUSE TO BE DISCOURAGED

I REFUSE TO BE DISCOURAGED

I refuse to be discouraged,
To be sad, or to cry;
I refuse to be downhearted,
And here''s the reason why...

I have a God who''s mighty,
Who''s sovereign and supreme;
I have a God who loves me,
And I am on His team.

He is all-wise and powerful,
Jesus is His name;
Though everything is changeable,
My God remains the same,

My God knows all that''s happening;
Beginning to the end,
His presence is my comfort,
He is my dearest friend.

When sickness comes to weaken me,
To bring my head down low,
I call upon my mighty God;
Into His arms I go.

When circumstances threaten
To rob me from my peace;
He draws me close unto His breast,
Where all my strivings cease.

And when my heart melts within me,
And weakness takes control;
He gathers me into His arms,
He soothes my heart and soul.
The great "I AM" is with me,

My life is in His hand,
The "Son of God" is my hope,
It''s in His strength I stand.
I refuse to be defeated,

My eyes are on my God
He has promised to be with me,
As through this life I trod.
I''m looking past all my circumstances,

To Heaven''s throne above;
My prayers have reached the heart of God,
I''m resting in His love.
I give God thanks in everything,

My eyes are on His face;
The battle''s His,
the victory''s mine;
He''ll help me win the race.

God's Message to Woman

God's Message to Woman

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.

You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, andmy eyes fill when I see the virtue in your heart. Your eyes -- don't change them. Your lips -- how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I've held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like me.

Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support. You are special because you are the extension of me.

Man represents my image -- woman, my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God.So man -- "treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile". In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

Speechless

8th November 2006,

5.25pm, Wednesday. I was on leave for 2 days- went to KL on Saturday for holidays+seminar. It's partly sponsored by BMS, and I took the opportunity to travel there earlier to catch up with frens- Lee Hua (my junior), Kawai, my SAHC schoolmate (Jenny, Kok Keong, Sim Wooi, Lay Hoon), Angie (my ex-CG mate). It's tiring journey, coz need a lot of travelling, frm one LRT to another, and depending on my fren to pick me up from station. But overall, it's worthwhile- to catch up.

Has been a while didn't write in blog. Blog supposed to be opened for all to read, but initially that wasn't my intention. My blog has now replaced my life journals, a place for me to share my heart out- be it happiness, frustration or anger- full of emotions. I called it Dew's Season of Life. A season of laughters, a season of sadness, season of challenges and season of defeat- it's very transparent, overflow spontaneously- without any concious how people look at me. Yes, even now- I'm transparent, but I guess a few people has gotten my blog- which sometimes made me overconcious, I don't wanna impress ppl with the blog, or making prejudice, or anything that will stumble others. As the time goes, I feel that the blog has diluted...Probably it's time to make a closure and start another new blog:P Thinkig what title to post today.

"Speechless". Period. That's my Title. Was pretty surprised and speechless to hear something today. My ever first time - a sincere and honest word from a friend. It's comforting and feel nice, it's warm and calm. I probably should have notice and see it coming, but I just put it off my mind- thinking that it's not possible, I'm just too sensitive. Well, for a girl- it's a nice word, pleasant to ear and comforting to the soul. But, for some- probably it's the other way round. So, now that I know- what is next? How should I take it to another level? Mixed feeling, happy and a bit scared...just speechless.

Lord, guard my heart for it's the wellspring of life. Protect my heart, help me not to lean on my own understanding but to trust You with all my heart..with all my heart- I will trust You, for You will make everything beautiful in Your time. I pray for Your leadership...that I will not walk out of Your will, but walk in Your perfect will. Take over Lord, I surrender this heart to You, Amen!